Mushroom And Swiss

Burger joint Hardees has a sandwich called Mushroom n Swiss, a beef patty covered in a dark mushroom mixture and topped with a slice of something that may once have been based on emmental. Sarah has always had a fatal weakness for this particularly fine example of fast food at its most terrifying. The trouble is, of course, that it’s delicious. It’s only shortly afterwards that you realise the aftertaste isn’t a fine countryside organic wholefood experience but a powerful charge of salt, sugar and awful chemical compounds designed to smack your tastebuds so hard around the head they don’t even realise they’re eating mass produced processed gunk that, without the chemicals, would be a tasteless pile of goo leached of any goodness or flavour.

There’s a vile little recipe circulating on the interwebs that uses tinned mushrooms and Campbell’s mushroom soup to recreate the Mushroom n Swiss experience. I find it odd how many American recipes start with ingredient lists of packets of this and cans of that. It’s almost as if raw food doesn’t exist.

Anyway, here’s a go at doing a homemade mushroom n swiss that doesn’t use canned shite. Although it does use other things that my old mum wouldn’t allow in the house. It’s a guilty pleasure, this one...

Ingredients

• 250g fresh button mushrooms, sliced
• 1 tbsp mushroom soy sauce
• 2 tsp brown sugar
• 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
• 100ml wine or stock
• Oil
• 500g minced beef
• Processed Emmental slices
• Golden Loaf Bakery burger baps (the sesame ones)

Splash a frying pan with the oil and fry off the mushrooms on a high heat so they brown and then start to relax and become moist. Slosh in the soy sauce and mix it all up, followed by the other ingredients. Keep it all moving in the pan and cook until it’s a mixture of soft mushroom in a thick, dark, sauce. Cover and keep in a warm place.

Split the beef into four balls of equal size and weight, then squash these into round discs – they should be 1-2 cm bigger all round than the buns and quite thin, you don’t want great thick patties that form a wodge inside the bun, you want a bun-matching beef patty experience - and the pattys shrink when you cook 'em (you might think that's too obvious to mention, but many burger-serving restaurants that aren't massive chains get it wrong time after time). You can either pan-fry the patties with a quick brush of oil (use a grillpan) or, better, grill ‘em off. Either way, you don’t want to cremate ‘em, just seal them and let them cook through a little - there should be a tinge of pink in an ideal world. This is not true to the original, of course, which is a uniform grey. They’ll keep, covered, in a warm oven for a short while. Let’s face it, the chains will keep ‘em like that for hours...

Slice the buns in half and toast the cut faces, ideally under a grill. Slap a beef patty on a bun, slather with mushroom mixture and then top with a square of shiny, suspiciously un-emmental looking stuff from a packet. If you’re feeling wicked, slip one of these slices of wrongness under the patty as well.

Serve with chips, French fries or whatever you fancy. And tomato sauce. And mayonnaise. Even mix some Dijon with the mayo.  But don’t blame us – you chose to follow this recipe and the post burger guilt thing is entirely yours to deal with.

Croque Monsieur

This is my fallback recipe for when I need to eat something very quickly. This is my recipe for croque-monsieur, there are hundreds of variations out there, this is mine. Mine I say, all mine.

Just for your information and elucidation a croque-madame is the same but with a fried or poached egg on top. Hmm, I wonder why?

Follow these steps and you will have a lovely hot sandwich on your plate in 8 minutes.


You will need:

2 slices white bread
Thin slices of emmenthal of gruyere cheese, enough to cover two sides of the bread
2 thin slices of good quality ham
Dijon mustard
Butter


And then you need to:

Put a frying pan on the hob over a low to medium flame

Place the two slices of bread on a plate and thinly spread mustard on both the slices.

Lay the slices of cheese on both slices so that the whole sides are covered.

Lay the ham on one side, and flip the other slice on top to close the sandwich.

Spread soft butter on the top of the uppermost slice of bread and then place the whole sandwich buttered side down into the dry, hot frying pan. Now spread butter on the uppermost side.

Cook for about 2 minutes then flip. Cook for a further two minutes until browned and serve.

Viola!

Poutine

Pronounced "peu-tin", not "pooteen", as one would think, this is Canadian junk food, also one of the many things known as a heart attack in a bowl. But try asking for "peu-tin", and you will get a vacant stare.

Poutine is available from street carts in almost any large Canadian city, but is best in French Quebec. Can't get it anywhere outside Canada that I know of. It is absolutely delicious, and worth making. 

Another one of those guilty pleasures that goes down best when slightly drunk. Can't emphasise enough that this must be eaten HOT, HOT, HOT!

So, to make your own, and keep the original taste, the following is necessary:

1.) The chips must be fried in lard.

2.) The gravy must be thick, like molasses. Use the liquid left over from cooking oxtails, with some of the meat, and reduce it to a thick, glossy slow-moving syrup. Add some Bisto if you want, but not too much.

3.) Use good cheddar cheese. the Canadians use cheddar curds, but suitable curds are hard to find.

Fry the chips, no point in double-frying them, they will get soggy anyway. place in a hot bowl, scatter the cheese, pour the gravy over, everything must be very hot, and should be eaten immediately  Once it becomes cold, it is a disgusting, soggy mess. And that is what the name is, "poutine" is Acadian slang for "soggy mess". If you don't feel like making it, do try it next time you are in Canada.

Spaghetti alla Vongole

Another delicious dish that can be placed on the table in less than 30 minutes from getting home. I reckon this is one of my favourite pasta dishes and I am surprised every time I cook it that I don’t do so more often.

I add cream to mine which is anything but regulation and would have me tarred and feathered in Sicily but hey ho. If you are feeling very adventurous also add two plum tomatoes that have been peeled and seeded and chopped fine. Also try pancetta.

You will need:

1 kg clams
4 cloves garlic, crushed chopped roughly
1 large onion, chopped fine
1 red chilli chopped fine or ½ tsp chilli flakes
250ml white wine
360g spaghetti
A good sized handful of fresh flat leaf parsley, chopped roughly
30g butter
2 tbsp EV olive oil
2 tbsp double cream
1 tbsp fresh squeezed lemon juice

And then you need to:

First up put a large pan of salted water on to boil. As soon as a good rolling boil has been reached throw in the pasta and cook per instructions.

Wash the clams well in lots of running water and drain in a colander.

In a large heavy based pan (with a lid) melt the butter and olive oil over a gentle heat and then lightly fry the garlic, onions and chilli (and tomatoes and pancetta if using)

Once the onions are translucent, increase the heat slightly and throw in the clams, the wine, the cream and the lemon juice. Cook for about 5 to 7 minutes. Discard any clams that haven’t opened fully.

Drain the pasta and tip it into the pan with the clams. Chuck in the parsley. Give it all a really good stir and shake around to really coat the pasta and then serve either in four bowls or one large one for everyone to dig into.

A spoonful of sugar (helps the medicine go down)

I said I’d start posting up occasional pieces on the food we eat and what goes into it. There are already a couple of these over at the Fake Plastic blog, both of which have been popular reads for people: the post about Aquafina (tap water with a mixture of minerals shipped over from Pepsico US and added after filtration) and the one about Pringles (did you know what was IN a Pringle?) have both been read by a large number of people searching for more information about both products, which is nice.

Here’s one for you: high fructose corn syrup. You’ll find this tasty little ingredient in a huge range of processed foods – it’s what makes Snapple drinks sweet and gives them that satisfying edge of gloopiness. It’s also to be found in pretty much any processed food where the manufacturer is looking to add some nice, cheap sweetener. It’s interesting that this highly processed sugar substitute is found in Snapples, which are clearly labelled ‘100% natural’... The US FDA actually allows this highly processed sweetener to be labelled as natural, which is at best slightly odd and at worst a triumph for some very intense lobbying from some very large conglolmerates.

So what is the stuff?

High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) is produced by a three-stage process that takes corn starch and breaks it down to a liquid sugar solution of 45% glucose and 55% fructose. There’s a lot of stuff about chains, but HFCS 55 is similar to ‘natural’ processed sugar in its sucrose/fructose content (it’s got 5% more fructose) but is structured differently, something which has led researchers to review how it’s metabolised. Fructose, by the way, is no bad thing in moderation – it’s fruit sugar, found naturally in all fruit. One of the concerns about HFCS, however, is quite how much of it is being sneaked into processed foods to make them seem nicer. And we're not just talking 'sweet' foods: HFCS appears in a surprisingly wide range of foods, including bread, ketchups and other condiments and sauces.

HFCS, if sourced from the US which leads world production and where 85% of production is in the hands of four giant companies based in the ‘corn belt’, is likely derived from Genetically Modified (GM) corn and processed using GM enzymes, too.

There’s a lot of debate about the downside of HFCS: research has pointed to the rise in US obesity levels being concurrent with the rise in HFCS used – today, Americans eat more HFCS than they do sugar. The combination of natural fruit juices and natural fructose-containing foods with cakes, pies, chocolates, sauces and sodas containing HFCS can be a massive double whammy of fructose, which has been linked to a process whereby the body’s natural feelings of satiety and fat reduction mechanisms are effectively bypassed. In other words, researchers believe that consuming more sugar as fructose actually makes you fatter, faster than consuming normal sugar. Studies in laboratories have showed that rats fed a diet of glucose did OK: those fed a fructose and low copper diet declined alarmingly and their life expectancy dropped from 2 years to five weeks. Many Americans, incidentally, have copper deficiency.

As we all know these studies are pretty extreme – you’d have to eat a lot of fructose before you’d start worrying about those types of scare effects. Well, the average American is currently consuming almost 30 kilos of HFCS a year.

The high levels of US consumption of HFCS are a trend that has directly mirrored the reduction in the consumption of other sugars – in fact it’s the American import tariff control system that’s mostly responsible for the cost-effectiveness of HFCS to food processors (it can cost up to 20% less) – in Europe, HFCS is much less popular. So you’re more likely to find HFCS in American processed foods – but the sheer quantity of it might just raise an eyebrow or two. Because, just as we like fatty foods, we tend to prefer sweetened foods, too.

An American branded soda can contain over 12 teaspoons of HFCS, while an American branded ketchup can contain a teaspoon of HFCS per tablespoon of ketchup. You’ll find HFCS in some surprising places: it is used to keep foods moist, to make breads browner and as a preservative. It’s also a popular ingredient in American health foods! It’s important to look at what foods ‘claim’ to be sometimes. For instance, if you’re looking at a ‘low calorie’ or ‘light’ salad dressing, you’d have to wonder what it’s made of. In fact, many low calorie dressings replace the oil with a nice dose of gloopy corn syrup – it helps to bulk up the texture and offset the vinegary ingredients. And a ‘healthy choice’ American low-calorie yoghurt can pack 10 teaspoons of sweetener!

Take a look at Capri-Sun juice drinks, by the way, or American barbecue marinades, processed cakes, biscuits and sweets. Smuckers grape jelly, Ocean spray jellied cranberry sauce and a range of other natural-seeming foods pack an HFCS punch, as do Pepsi and Coke. In fact a 12oz Pepsi will deliver you a dose of sweetener equivalent to over 10 teaspoons of sugar, while a Cinnabon will serve you up over 12 teaspoons of the stuff.

By the way, Burger King, KFC, McDonalds, Subway and others are big users of HFCS in their foods.

Although there’s no proven link between HFCS and health issues, there is definitely a hell of a lot of the stuff lurking around in processed foods. And if you’d like to avoid consuming in excess of your recommended daily intake of sugar by eating a single yoghurt or drinking a can of fizzy drink, or if you’d rather avoid consuming GM foods, then it may well be worth taking a look on the label first.

Tagliatelle with Gorgonzola, pancetta and toasted walnuts

This is another entry in the occasional series of recipes that shows you how to get food on the table in less than 30 minutes.

A very, very simple dish but delicious nonetheless.

You will need:

360g tagliatelle pasta
100g walnuts
50g butter
100g gorgonzola
100g lardons or cubes of pancetta
150ml fresh cream
4 spring onions, trimmed and chopped very fine.
4 fresh basil leaves, chopped
Grated fresh parmesan


Okay, follow these instructions step by step and you will be sitting down and eating in no time.

Pre-heat an oven to 180C/350F.

Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil.

Spread the walnuts out on a baking tray and pop in the hot oven. Roast for 6 minutes, remove and chop up roughly with a big knife.

In a saucepan gently fry the pancetta with a little bit of EV olive oil until crispy. Remove and drain on kitchen paper.

The water should be boiling by now so throw in the pasta, cook per instructions but probably for about 8 mins.

Melt the butter over a low heat, add the gorgonzola and then the cream and cook gently until all melted and it has become a creamy sauce.

Drain the pasta and return it to the big pot.

Add the spring onions, the basil, the crispy pancetta and the walnuts to the creamy sauce and then pour the sauce over the pasta. Give it a good stir to coat and serve.

Sprinkle with grated parmesan and some freshly ground black pepper.

Creamy Tiger Prawn Gratin

This really does make a wonderful starter, slightly unusual flavours with the chilli and the lime but it’s always a winner and always has guests scraping the sides. I think that it is a Delia recipe but the scrap of paper I have in my file at home doesn’t say where it came from.

And the best part, it can be all put together in a nano-second and takes a mere blink of an eye to cook. It is also pretty much fool-proof so if you’ve over clubbed it on the pre-prandial drinks you should still be able to get this to the table without too much of a fuss.


You will need:

1 medium sized onion chopped fine
2 cloves of garlic chopped fine
1 Thai chilli, chopped fine
1 lime, juiced and zest peeled off
8 or 12 (depending how generous you feel and how large your gratin dishes are!) large tiger prawns, shelled and de-veined. You can use frozen prawns no problem.
3 rashers streaky bacon chopped into little pieces.
200ml double cream
100g fontina cheese.


You will also need four shallow gratin dishes.

Fontina comes from the Val D’Aosta in Northern Italy and is a soft cows milk cheese that melts brilliantly. If you can’t find it substitute Tallegio or perhaps even Gruyere. On Friday I made this dish and used Raclette which actually worked pretty well.

In a small frying pan with a drop of EV olive oil fry the bacon pieces until crispy. Once done place in a little bowl lined with kitchen paper.

Then in the same pan fry the onion, garlic and chilli very gently until soft and translucent. Put to one side.

Peel the zest from the lime and then juice it.

Take your four gratin dishes and in each place an equal portion of the onion mixture, the bacon pieces, the lime zest and lime juice.

Divide the prawns equally between the four dishes. Pour about 50ml of fresh cream into each dish (I didn’t say it was healthy!).

Cut the cheese into thin slices, Fontina is pretty hard to grate due to its texture, but slice it up as best you can. Divide equally between the four dishes and put on top of the prawns and cream.

Heat the grill until very hot, stick the dishes under the grill close to the fire and cook for about 5 mins until slightly browned and bubbling and the prawns have turned pink and yummy.

Serve with some crusty bread and some Tabasco for those that want a hotter kick.

Spaghetti with Pesto and Pancetta

What follows is the absolutely perfect dish for a very quick mid week supper. I can have this dish made from scratch and ready on the table in the time it takes to bring a pot of water to the boil and to cook the pasta.

Ingredients

400g Spaghetti or linguine pasta
Fresh Pesto (comments on quantities below)
1 onion chopped fine
2 cloves garlic chopped fine
100ml white wine
100-150g cubes of pancetta (or similar)
50ml fresh cream
Grated fresh parmesan cheese

When I haven’t been doing my Percy Thrower bit and harvesting my own plants I often use pesto sauce out of a jar. There are some very good ones available, check the ingredients and try and buy the best you can, ie try to get one that has only the ‘normal’ ingredients. There is a brand here in Dubai that only has basil, garlic, pine nuts, olive oil and parmesan in it, no preservatives, no salt etc, and it is really very good. The brand is called "ROI" and can be found in Spinneys. They also sell a Waitrose own brand which is pretty good as well. Avoid any that has preservatives or fillers like potato and cashew nuts. Also avoid others that have 'refined oils' or oils other than olive oil.

If you can’t get pancetta substitute another smoked bacon, either lardons, or smoked streaky bacon cut into little pieces.

And then you need to:

Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil over a high heat.

In a frying pan over a medium heat fry pancetta, onions and garlic together with 1 tbs EV olive oil. After about 5 minutes pour in the white wine and cook until almost all reduced.

When the water has reached a boil put in the spaghetti and cook as per packet instructions (somewhere between 8 – 12 minutes depending on brand).

Take frying pan off heat and add the pesto sauce. If you are using pesto out of a jar I would suggest 1 heaped tsp per person. If you are using fresh pesto I would probably use 1 tbsp per person.

Add the cream and stir to mix thoroughly. Place back on heat over a very low flame and warm through.

Drain spaghetti in a colander, return to large pan and pour pesto/bacon sauce over the pasta. Stir to mix and either serve straight onto plates or into one large bowl. Grate fresh parmesan on top, garnish with a couple of basil leaves and serve. You can also toss a small handful of toasted pine nuts on top too for a little bit of something special.

That’s it, 15 minutes from start to finish.

Spaghetti Carbonara

This is a classic dish and a personal favourite. Smoky bacon, smooth creamy sauce and bitey pasta: I can eat this stuff by the bucket. Over the years I've come to prefer tagliatelli with carbonara, although I've had a really nice version in a restaurant that was made with spirelli and the addition of sundried tomatoes. So do try that if you like!

Serve it up with bruschetta. Go on, do! And by all means, substitute the streaky bacon with lean ham, pancetta cubes or, if you prefer not to eat pork, with beef bacon or turkey ham.

Ingredients

• 500g tagliatelli
• 300g streaky bacon, chopped
• 5 eggs
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 2 tbsp fresh grated parmesan cheese
• 200g creme fraiche
• 1 tbsp parsley, chopped finely.

Boil a kettle of water, and then pour the water in a roomy pan along with ½ tbsp of olive oil. Bring to a gentle boil, and then add the pasta. Boil for 8-10 minutes until cooked.

While the spaghetti is cooking, fry the bacon, ham or beef sausage in the remaining olive oil. Whisk three of the whole eggs with the yolks of the other two in a bowl, adding plenty of freshly grated black pepper and the parmesan cheese. Mix in the creme fraiche and the cooked bacon or beef sausage.

Drain the cooked pasta and return it to the pan with the heat off, adding the mixture to it, stirring it to heat through (using the residual heat from the pan only) and serve in hot bowls sprinkled with chopped parsley.