So what is bad food? What makes a meal out a disappointment, a let-down and a distaster? Is it frustrated expectation, just bad food or simply bad service? Is it a rich mixture of all three, a sort of systemic incompetence that starts front of house and goes all the way to the kitchen?
Knocked about, treated badly, fed slops and food poisoned by five star hotel buffets and brunches, you'd almost feel sorry for us all, wouldn't you? But surely we have a right to expect something, anything like care in return for that five times food cost - don't we?
This week is dedicated to our fellow sufferers - to everyone who's ever had a bad meal and cowered under the waiter's gimlet eye as they said, 'It was lovely thank you' when asked how the meal was - when they actually wanted to say, 'If that was medium to well cooked then I'm Enid Blyton, chum.'
Kicking off a week of memorably bad experiences, guest contributor EyeOnDubai reviews a triplet of terrible taste tribulations below. Later on in the week we'll be looking at, among other delighted reminiscences and ramblings, what it's like to eat in the World's Best Restaurant and quite who gets the nomination for the worst in the UAE.
To that end, we'd be fascinated by your views - what IS the worst place to eat in the Emirates? Or, indeed, what is the worst restaurant in the Universe? Answers on a postcard to The Fat Expat, please!!!